


(are we gonna be) more than a memory

by akanemnida



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Kissing, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 22:39:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16168274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akanemnida/pseuds/akanemnida
Summary: "Who borrows stuff and never returns them?"Dongho barks out a laugh then kisses Minhyun's nose.  "Easy.""Hey! I returned everything when we broke up!""You returned a full box Minhyun-ah. I would've let you keep them all, you know. You practically lived in my shirts anyway."(Or: The fic wherein a certain pair of exes find themselves reminiscing while playing a kissing game.)





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted as a thread on my twitter account, may be a little bit stylistically different from my usual, but maybe it will be just as fun~
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

_Who gets annoyed faster?"_

 

Silence.

 

Minhyun feels the arm around his waist loosen—

"You were gonna move, Dongho-ya, I felt it. Why didn't—"

Dongho laughs. "You! You get annoyed faster!" He plants a kiss on Minhyun's cheek. "And you _always_ get annoyed when I call you out."

Minhyun pouts, touching the spot Dongho had kissed. It felt warm, not unlike those lazy afternoons years ago when Dongho would kiss his cheek to get his attention, as an apology, to get away with things...

He chuckles. Maybe this whole thing (read: voluntarily helping Aron-hyung’s friend in a filmmaking project about exes and _then_ being showered with kisses by your ex) was a _terrible_ idea.

"Next question?"

 

 

 

 


	2. 02

 

 

 

"So the next—"

 

"Minhyun-ah, your ears are red," Dongho says, interrupting the interviewer.

He reaches out to touch Minhyun's ears but catches himself. _Too close_ , he thinks, even with his ex's arms around him. He swallows. "Are you okay?"

Minhyun smiles weakly. "I’m just… reminiscing. I'm okay." He nods at the interviewer, signaling him to continue.

"The next question: who gets drunk faster?"

Neither move until Minhyun laughs and inches closer to Dongho's face. Dongho recoils.

"We don't really drink, isn't this a pass—"

"Remember that time during Aron- _hyung_ ’s birthday—"

" _No_ ," Dongho hisses, slapping a hand over Minhyun's mouth. "Kiss my hand. We're good. It's me."

 

Minhyun makes a loud, smacking noise against his ex’s palm.

"Gross. Let me kiss your face. Besides, it's not that embarrassing, you just drank and then..."

"Minhyun-ah, please," Dongho says, pointing at his cheek. "Go. Just—just stop talking."

Minhyun smirks and plants a quick peck at his jawline, lips meeting the familiar feel of skin and stubble.

Really, this was dangerous: the familiarity, how the kisses and the banter felt the same.

 _This is just a game, Hwang Minhyun,_ he tells himself sternly. _This is just a filmmaking project. You'll be back to exes when this ends._

 

 

 


	3. 03

 

 

 

"Who's sweeter?"

"Don't," Minhyun says when he feels Dongho move.

He presses his palms against Dongho's shoulders to stop him from getting nearer. He buries his face in Dongho's neck to avoid his questioning gaze and then kisses softly, lips feather-light.

 

"This is yours."

 

Minhyun moves away and lets his fingers pinch at the spot he kissed. He curses his self-control. Maybe the neck was too intimate but he doesn't think he can handle kissing Dongho's cheek again and would kissing Dongho's lips be too much even if it was completely within the rules?

"Ow."

"It's not me and you know it."

"No? I mean, you took care of me in those years we were together and even before we became official, you're the kindest person I know, it's why I fell in love—"

"Sweet and kind are different things," Minhyun says softly. "You drove me places and wrote me songs."

_Besides,_ Minhyun thinks, with a tinge of bitterness, _the person who initiated the breakup shouldn't be the one called sweet._

 

 

 


	4. 04

 

 

 

"I wrote you crappy songs," Dongho says, blushing as he remembers the dissonant notes and the cheesy lyrics he'd written for one of their anniversaries. "But fine. I drove you places.”

He halts, remembering a particular drive when they—

 

“Sure. Okay. Um. This is embarrassing. Next question."

 

"Who borrows stuff and never returns them?"

 

Dongho barks out a laugh then kisses Minhyun's nose. "Easy."

"Hey! I returned everything when we broke up!"

"You returned a full _box_ Minhyun-ah. I would've let you keep them all, you know. You practically lived in my shirts anyway."

 

Minhyun knew this; of course Dongho would've willingly given him that pile of shirts he stole. He thinks about that time when Dongho would give him anything he asked for: his clothes, a late night car ride to Busan, the moon, the stars, a breakup when he'd least expected it...

 

"I couldn't keep them! Not after breaking your heart!" Minhyun says, laughing. "That would've been really awful."

"You already stole my heart and broke it into pieces," Dongho jokes, arms looped around Minhyun's shoulders, a twinkle in his eye. "What's another shirt or two?"

 

 

 


	5. 05

 

 

 

There's a relief that washes over Minhyun.

Relief that what was once a painful topic can now be approached with humor.  
Relief that maybe, just maybe, after all these years Dongho has forgiven him.

Minhyun huffs. "Well fuck you too. Next question please?"

 

The interviewer blinks, caught off-guard.

He didn't think either of the two realized he was still there. They weren't the first pair of exes he'd interviewed, but with these two he'd noticed something... heavy in the air, a lingering tension with traces of too many words unsaid.

 

"So, um. Who says sorry more frequently?"

 

This time Minhyun moves first, tugging Dongho closer before leaning down slightly to kiss Dongho's forehead.

 

He'd always liked taking advantage of that height difference. Still, he doesn't let his lips linger.

 

"He kept saying sorry after I broke up with him," Minhyun says, looking at the camera. "He spammed my inbox with apologies even if I was at fault."

 

 

"Dude, what did you even do?" one of the cameramen asks out of the blue.

 

"He—" Dongho starts, before Minhyun interrupts.

"Next!"


	6. 06

 

 

 

"So, who got friendlier first after the breakup?"

Minhyun narrows his eyes at Dongho, who was looking at him smugly, expectantly.

"Hey. Is this rigged? Why do you get all the kisses?" Dongho snorts. "Could've gotten more if you didn't dump me."

Minhyun tries to control the urge to kiss Dongho's mouth to shut him up. He plants a kiss on the corner of his lips instead.

(What Minhyun doesn't notice is how Dongho tries his best to keep his head steady, to stop himself from meeting Minhyun's lips with his.)

 

 

 


	7. 07

 

 

 

The questions continue.

"Who's more thoughtful?" gets Minhyun a kiss on the shoulder.

The interviewer reads the next question before he could lift his head.

"Who says 'I miss you' more?"

Dongho moves and kisses higher, at the side of Minhyun's neck.

Minhyun erupts in giggles. "Fuck, _stop_ , that tickles."

It was the response Dongho had expected. He laughs with Minhyun. The sound of their combined laughter is too loud, too irritating.

 

Dongho's chest feels light.

 

 

They're giggling when the interviewer reads the next question.

"Who comes up with jokes more often?" Dongho feels Minhyun's lips on the crown of his head.

Years ago he would have stayed in place and tucked himself under Minhyun's chin. Today he has the strength to pull away.

 

Except… he doesn’t manage to move far enough to calm his heart. The mechanics were that they had to have their arms around each other throughout all the questions. Kiss the one who fits the description. Try not to be awkward around each other.

To Dongho, none of this was awkward. The kissing, the banter… all of it felt good, comfortable.

That was the problem. He curses Aron and his friend who needed real-life exes for a documentary. A documentary that was doing a damn great job reviving feelings and sensations he'd repressed years ago.

 

There were too many things to address before he should feel anywhere near _comfortable_.

 

The interviewer cuts through his thoughts. "Who says I love you more?"

Dongho halts, unsure. He looks at Minhyun for a cue, instead finding him spaced out as if trying to remember something.

 

"Min...?"

"You know, I... loved you. A lot. But I never really said it aloud."

"Same. I didn't really think it mattered, so I didn't say it much either."

"So because we're shitty exes, no kiss?"

Dongho hums. "I mean, we both said it _sometimes_ , so..."

He plants a wet kiss on Minhyun's cheek. "I loved you too. Kiss me so we're even."

"That's not—"

"Or you can tell me you loved me again so you'd deserve that kiss—"

"Yah. Why are you so competitive?" Minhyun laughs. He chooses to kiss Dongho's forehead. "We're even. Next?"

 

 

 


	8. 08

 

 

 

"Who remembers your theme song?"

 

Minhyun looks into Dongho's eyes and groans. "Do you?"

"How can I forget? It was your favorite, it got stuck in my head and then I kept singing it and..."

Dongho realizes the awkwardness of the situation, feels the heaviness in the air. "Ah."

Minhyun kisses Dongho's cheek. "Sorry." He looks at the cameraman with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Next?"

 

"So what was the song?" asks the interviewer, not sensing the tension between the two.

 

 

The two respond simultaneously:  
"That's not how the game—"  
"Marry Me."

 

 

 


	9. 09

 

 

 

Minhyun winces when he hears Dongho utter those two words.

 

The memories crash on him like waves: a late-night drive under the stars, the scent of take-out chicken and beer, the soft hum of the car's engine, Dongho's smile, the warmth throughout his body despite it being early fall.

He remembers the way Dongho's eyes lit up when the song started playing on the radio, how his hands looked as he turned up the volume, the way Dongho sang bits of the song under his breath:

_If you suddenly feel like leaving  
I’ll leave with you no matter what tomorrow brings._

 

 

This, he's tried to forget for years:

 

 

"Yah," Dongho says, while fishing for something in his pocket.

"Hmm?" Minhyun wipes at the corner of Dongho's mouth. "You have sauce..."

"Marry me." Suddenly there's a ring in his line of sight. Minhyun blinks, wishing it would disappear.

Minhyun looks into Dongho's eyes, clear and brown and guileless. Suddenly, the air didn't seem too light anymore.

He feels panic flood through his veins.

"What," Minhyun says flatly.

 

He sees Dongho's face fall.

 

 

 

 


	10. 10

 

 

 

He'd tried to figure out how to propose perfectly: towards the end of a candlelit dinner in a rooftop garden? In the middle of a weekend getaway in Kyoto? Through a self-composed ballad love song?

 

Then again, carefully-curated plans never really appealed to Dongho.

 

He'd always believed in just _doing_ , that the timing for everything can be figured out with just a feeling.

He didn't ever think he'd get the urge to propose inside his car, parked in front of Minhyun's driveway in Busan, just before dropping him off for the Chuseok holidays.

 

 

But it felt right.

 

 

Minhyun's favorite song in the background, the taste of his least-favorite chicken in his mouth, the warmth in his cheeks because of the two sips of beer Minhyun goaded him to take.

 

 

("No, Minhyun-ah, I'm _driving_." Really, he just hates the taste.  
"You know you can stay.")

 

 

It felt right.

 

 

There was something about the comfort, the domesticity of the whole situation that made Dongho's heart fill with fondness.

Loving Hwang Minhyun always felt right.

A stray, "Ah, I think I want to do this forever" crosses his mind.

So he acts on his wants.

 

 

 


	11. 11

 

 

 

A strange silence falls over the studio. Usually when asked about theme songs, couples would just burst out laughing at the cheesy memories.

 

The interviewer isn't sure how to proceed. He senses that he'd crossed a line somehow.

 

"I, um. Let's move on to the next question?"

 

 

"In the past, who had something to say but never managed to say it?"

Minhyun chuckles. "These questions are getting more interesting. Kiss me."

"You have something to say?"

"No, I just want a kiss." Minhyun rolls his eyes. (All jokes are half meant.) "It's me. Kiss me."

"Okay, close your eyes."

 

The kiss is quick, faint, fleeting. Minhyun isn't sure if he imagined it. His eyes fly open.

 

"Did you just...?"

"Yep. Now tell me." Minhyun looks at the staff. "Was that allowed?"

The staff member shrugs, smirking. "Anywhere is fair game."

 

Dongho laughs at Minhyun's panic. Really, he'd just ran out of ideas where to kiss, and he didn't feel like repeating. A chaste kiss on the lips seemed like the best option, but Minhyun's ears were now burning.

 

Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea.

It’s a good thing he’d never really claimed to be smart.

 

 

 


	12. 12

 

 

 

There's always been something satisfying about seeing Minhyun flustered: red ears and pink cheeks and a rare cluelessness that Dongho found adorable. Minhyun always seemed like he knew what to do in any situation; at one pont in time Dongho made it a hobby to catch him off-guard.

But he remembers the day he proposed. Minhyun hadn't been flustered: he didn't get the tell-tale signs of his red ears and awkward stuttering. There was an unmistakable fear in Minhyun's eyes, a panic that Dongho didn't quite understand.

 

 

"You don't have to answer _now_ , you can think about it, I’ll wait—"

"I—" Minhyun starts, before closing his mouth quickly. "No. I— _Shit_. This isn't how this is supposed to go."

Dongho feels his heart drop. "...No? Why not?"

"I just." There's a buzzing in Minhyun's ears and he wishes it could stop. Maybe he shouldn't have drunk so much.

" _No_ ," he says, more firmly this time. "I—I'll go. I'll see you. After Chuseok. Mom is waiting..."

"It's one AM—"

"My head hurts, I drank—"

" _Everything_ hurts, at least tell me _why_ —" A stray tear falls down Dongho's cheek. Minhyun reaches to wipe it before recoiling.

 

 

 

Their last kiss:

Minhyun, leaning forward, barely brushing his lips against Dongho's, quick and fleeting.  
Dongho, with too many thoughts in his mind, barely registering said kiss.

What does register is the click of the car's lock, the way Minhyun closes the door behind him.

 

 

 

Minhyun doesn't come back after Chuseok. He comes back weeks later with a box.

Inside: hoodies and shirts, all freshly laundered, neatly folded.

 

 

They all smelled like Minhyun’s favorite detergent.

 

 

Dongho gives in to what Minhyun seemed to want.

He always does.

He never finds out why.

 

 

 

 


	13. 13

 

 

 

Breathing in, Dongho inhales the scent he's tried to avoid for the past five years. They were close, so close because of the game. It's a familiar hold, yet extremely unsettling. He didn't think he'd ever be this near his ex again.

Dongho closes his eyes and gathers up courage.

"Yah." He pokes Minhyun's nose to make the atmosphere lighter. "Will you tell me why?"

"I will." He notices the staff's excited expressions. "Maybe after the shoot."

The cameraman rolls his eyes. "We don't even know what you did."

Minhyun laughs. "He proposed. I ran away."

The interviewer wolf-whistles. "Shit, that's—that's cold. Well, I guess we all know who's getting the kiss for this final question."

Dongho blinks. "What’s the question?"

"Who has something they wanted to say sorry for?"

 

 

Minhyun lets go of Dongho's waist and bursts into laughter.

 

 

 


	14. 14

 

 

 

To Dongho, the way Minhyun laughs is one of the more predictable things in the world.

His fox-eyes disappear, his nose scrunches, rows of perfect teeth show. His laughter is deep, reassuring. When the laughter dies down to faint giggles, he covers his mouth with a fist. Sometimes, when the laughter is too much, he covers his face. Today is one of those days.

 

"Yah, Hwang Minhyun, don't you want a kiss—"

From behind his palms, Minhyun shakes his head.

The giggles continue.

"C'mon, don't you want this to end?"

Minhyun shakes his head again.

 

 

He laughs because there are so many things he should say sorry for:

 

For being afraid of change.  
For running away.

 

For thinking he didn't deserve Dongho after running away for the first time.

 

For running away again.

He really doesn't think he deserved a kiss for any of them.

 

 

 

Dongho reaches to pry Minhyun's hands off his face.

Minhyun relents, allows Dongho's hands to loosely clasp his.

He finds Dongho’s clear hazel eyes looking straight into his own.

 

"I'm sorry," Minhyun says quietly.

Dongho brings the back of Minhyun's hand to his lips and kisses softly.

 

Minhyun's heart stops.

 

 

"It's okay."

 

 

 


	15. 15

 

 

 

The studio lights dim and the cameramen begin to tidy up.

The shoot ends. Dongho lets go.

 

There's an empty feeling in Minhyun's palms that he tries to shake off.

 

The shoot is over.

 

 

 


	16. 16

 

 

 

"Hey," the interviewer says, approaching the two. "Good job today. That was... intense."

Minhyun smiles. "Yeah? When we were together, people always said that our relationship was intense."

He nods. "I hope it wasn't too awkward for the two of you? Aron said you guys were cool, so—"

"Yeah, no problem," Dongho answers. "It's not like we haven't been friendly for the past five years."

"I couldn't completely run away from him," Minhyun jokes. "I wanted to, but Jonghyun and Minki and Aron- _hyung_ would've killed me if I tried."

"And I spammed your inbox for a month—"

"You did." Minhyun confirms, then looks at the interviewer. "Really, we've been friends ever since. We're good."

"Mmm, if you say so. Thank you. You guys were perfect."

"Send us the film once you're done with it!" Minhyun chimes. He nods, before walking away.

 

 

 


	17. 17

 

 

 

Dongho looks at Minhyun. "So... coffee? Wait, you don't drink coffee—"

"Hey, I do." Minhyun says. "Recently I’ve been drinking Iced Americanos."

"Hah. You used to only drink grapefruit smoothies and iced cocoa..." As if on reflex, they walk towards Dongho's car.

"I mean, it's been five years. My palate has matured," Minhyun jokes. "Things have changed..."

"Yah, stop acting as if I haven't seen you in five years!"

 

 

Yet Dongho understands. Being friends, being friendly exes, and being _boyfriends_ were entirely different things. At one point in time he'd felt so attuned to Minhyun's likes and dislikes; in the past five years he'd been actively willing himself not to care about the little things.

 

 

 

Minhyun flinches when he realizes that he is in front of Dongho's passenger seat door. In the few instances he'd had to ride he'd made sure to ride in the backseat. Today he didn't have the other boys to hide behind.

"Yah, should I sit—"

"I'm over you," Dongho says. "Get in."

"Could've fooled me," Minhyun says with a huff, buckling his seatbelt. "Why'd you kiss me?"

“Because in that moment, I wanted to…?” Dongho blinks, unsure if he did or said anything wrong. When Minhyun does not respond, he continues. "Anyway, fine—I'll rephrase. I've forgiven you. Better?"

 

There are still too many words that linger in the air.

 

Minhyun looks away from Dongho's gaze. "Just go already."

 

 

 


	18. 18

 

 

 

Dongho is driving, hands firm on the steering wheel when he asks, "So... Why?"

"Why are you only asking this today?" Minhyun fires back, then exhales. "Why did you let me go?"

 

Dongho keeps his eyes on the road. "I asked first, Minhyun-ah."

 

 

The car's engine hums, comforting, as Minhyun considers his words.

"You know... you know when you have a really good thing?" Minhyun says slowly. "And then someone says they'll give you a better thing, but to get it, you'll have to give up the good thing? But—but you're not sure if the replacement will be better than the really good thing you already have. So I—"

Dongho nods, understanding. He'd... sort of figured it out, but it felt good to hear it from Minhyun's mouth.

Minhyun leans further into the backrest, then gazes out the window. "I didn't see how anything could be better than what we had back then. So I said no. Without thinking."

"So... you decided to... dump me and leave yourself with nothing?" Dongho answers. "I could have waited—"

 

"Ah," Minhyun says, with a sheepish laugh. "That's different."

 

"Eh?"

"You know how I'm a hopeless romantic?"

"I mean, yeah, I watched all those dramas with you back then—"

"Ah, saying this is embarrassing!"

"But I want to know," Dongho whines. "Tell me. For closure."

 

 

"You know. I never told you this before, but I really was planning to come back. And tell you to wait for me. It's just... Chuseok gave me too much time to overthink."

 

Dongho tries his best to focus on the road.

 

"I thought you deserved someone who would give you that fairytale proposal," Minhyun continues, chuckling while shaking his head. "You're perfect. You deserve the perfect story. I couldn't give you that."

 

 

Dongho snorts while making a right turn. "You really thought I gave a shit about a romantic proposal when I proposed to you with chicken breath and you half-drunk and fucking Marry Me playing?" He shrugs.

"I was stupid." He smiles at Dongho. "Your turn. Why did you let me go?"

"Gave in to what you wanted," Dongho answers simply. "Isn't that always what I do?"

“That’s… that’s it?” Minhyun asks. He gets a slight nod in return.

 

"See?! That attitude. That made me feel like I was shit. No—wait, I _am_ shit. But it's like—it's like you never told me what you wanted directly if it went against what I wanted."

 

Minhyun inhales, and then exhales. There were still so many things he wanted to say.

 

 

"You spammed my inbox with apologies instead of questions."

"Yeah, I did."

"I felt like I didn't deserve any of your apologies."

"Okay."

"So I felt like I didn't deserve you."

"That's fair."

"You know, I… I wished you were angrier. I... wished you dragged me back."

 

 

 


	19. 19

 

 

 

There's a silence that floods through the car, before Minhyun decides to cut through it. Minhyun always is the first to make noise.

 

"You know, we're both loud, but I think we were really bad at talking," Minhyun says. "Everything else was good, but—"

"Too many things unsaid."

"I mean... I can't blame either of us. Back then it felt like we didn't really have to talk to _understand_ what the other wanted," Mihnyun continues. "Until it all went to hell."

Dongho parks his car, nodding. "Yeah. We would’ve imploded one way or another. We're here."

 

 

 

Neither of them make the move to go out.

 

 

 

Dongho looks into Minhyun's eyes for the millionth time that day.

 

 

 

"Thank you for telling me everything."

Minhyun smiles. "Thank you for finally asking."

 

 

 


	20. 20

 

 

 

They walk to the counter, hearts and minds feeling lighter than before.

 

It's one thing to be friends with your ex, as they'd been for the past five years. It's another thing to feel completely at ease while around someone who was once the world to you.

 

 

"Dongho-ya. What do you want? My treat today."

"Yah, Minhyun-ssi, is this a date?" Dongho jokes.

"Could be. You drove me." Minhyun grins. "If you want."

"We'll see about that," Dongho answers, smirking. There's laughter in his eyes. "For now, I just want an Iced Americano."

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos keep me motivated. If you want to reach me, find me on twitter (@akanemnida).


End file.
